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Realization

I’ve always believed in “no regrets”.

What that has meant to me is not regretting your choices in life. Whatever the choice you made, your life could have been better or worse, since you will never know, there is no sense in regretting it. Every choice I have made in my life has led to me where I am now. For example, I would never change, or wish to change, a choice that would mean I don’t have my two beautiful children. So, I have no regrets.

The realization that I came to, is that there is another side to “no regrets” and that is actively making decisions. Do I do this or don’t I? Do I do it now or wait til “a better time”? Which choice might leave you wishing that you had done it differently? I’ve found that my own life experiences (YMMV) have shown that doing it or doing it now, even if they were poor choices, left me with no regrets. I tried, I took a chance. It has always turned out better than being afraid.

  • William Eberle

    *smile* Total agreement…

    “It has always turned out better than being afraid. “

  • http://Www.edbrill.com Ed Brill

    Ironically written on the day when Jewish people begin a process of repentance for everything we did wrong over the last year. I love the attitude Kathy but I think it is a hard one to live by…. That you can is admirable and is likely part of your personal strengths.

    For me, at a similar time in my life a few years back, I chose to make it more about “carpe diem” than about what i had done in the past. I do have regrets, but I choose to use them to guide my life from here forward. I may not always be able to make an “in the moment” decision that works out for the best, but my past helps guide my future, and I surely feel like my life is richer every day for this.

    My best in your journey.

  • Mike

    Kathy

    Your regret would only come to the surface with the addition of hindsight. I believe that if something was the right thing to do at the time, any future changes are things you could not have considered and should not be included in your “regret review”

    Wow! Possibly the mostly badly-est(!) worded reply on this blog,. All these intelligent people and I spout out that stain on the English language! (I knew what I meant in my head though!)

  • http://www.groupwarenews.com Tim Lorge

    I was 15 when my dad died. And, I recall a conversation I had with my best friend about my dad, his life and living life with no regrets. We assumed then that my dad lived his life well and died with no regrets. We also both made a pact that we would live our life with no regrets.

    Looking at my dad’s life, he was a career officer in the Navy and, most likely, was exposed to nuclear radiation during his life. He died from very rare forms of cancer very quickly.

    I don’t know if my dad died with and regrets. One could say that joining the Navy was a possible regret for him. I don’t think it was even though it most likely was the cause of his death.

    I know that had he not joined the Navy, he probably never would have left Wisconsin, he would have never been a pilot, would have never been stationed in Atlantic City and would have never met my mom.

    My mom asked my dad one time why he never wanted to move back to Wisconsin after he retired from the Navy. His answer was “life just never worked out that way.”

    From that, I’ve come to believe things work out how they are supposed to.

    Sensei Ed speaks of the guideposts they can become if you let them. I’d agree with that.

    We aren’t perfect and there are all lessons we need to learn.

    Should a decision blow up in your face, there’s usually a reason for it and lesson available for you if and only if you’re willing to look for it and are honest with yourself to accept it.

    Because we made a mistake, does that mean we have to raise it to the level of regret, considering all the psychological baggage that may come with naming a mistake a regret?

    I say no and decide to take the plunge. At the very least if it doesn’t work out, you get a funny story out of it!

  • http://null Shamus

    “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” – Freewill, by RUSH